Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me ... As I was in the days of my youth, when the secret of God was upon my tabernacle. [Job 29: 2, 4]


"...Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me..."

Here is a picture of the passion in the heart of a man... “Oh! that I were as in months past”. Job was longing for the experience he once had with God, he was desiring to go back to a wonderful spiritual experience he once enjoyed, which had now become historical. The same is true of many believers, who once had glorious relationships with God, but alas, it’s become stories.
When a man starts getting careless, his inner man, which was a storehouse of divine things suddenly gets punctured, and grace begins to leak out unnoticed, he starts reducing in weight, the gravity and heaviness of the spirit dissipate slowly without excuse, and his testimony eventually becomes a "once upon a time".


...the days of my youth...

Youthfulness signifies freshness, it symbolises vigour, strength, zeal, vitality, veracity and power. My youthful days are the days of refreshing goodness, the freshness of God was my daily experience, nothing about me was stale, I walked with God 'in the present', not a single experience had grown cold or old, every spiritual impartation God gave me was still in their young states, they were still fresh. The beauty of the Lord was fresh in me, even if divine experiences had been several years with me, they were never growing old, instead, they were new and renewed every day.

The days of my youth were the days of my first love. My experience with God was like that of a newly wedded couple. For them, the spouse was everything. Their company together was each one's greatest moment, not to see the spouse for a moment, was like an eternity of separation, they took time off in honeymoon, just to look at each other's faces and ravish themselves with love, they needed no disturbances, even when such appeared helpful and of immense assistance, their love was young, full and fresh.


"...days of my youth..."

How many physical days make up the days of my youth? How many years will a man have spent and he would have consumed all the days of his youth? The 'days of my youth' here is more spiritual than physical, it is not calculated by mere checking the calendar age, it has nothing to do with the biological age.

Physically, the youth age is between 14 and 40 years old, but many teenagers today have never met the Lord, and cannot be numbered as part of those who have entered the glorious youthful days spiritually.

A man may begin his youthful days at 45, another at 60, another at 12 and another at 31. The youthful day begins at that moment after you surrendered to The Lord and He reveals His love to you. Many profess to be born again though, but they are still like outcasts, they have not discovered the depth of God's love and beauty, so, their own youthful days too are still put on hold, they haven’t begun. Thousands of men go through life and die at an old age, yet, they never once tasted of the freshness of Divine youthfulness.

A man could begin his youthful days at 15 but by 17, he begins to grow old, grey hairs are beginning to show up in his character and lifestyle, he begins to trust in the judgments of the world more than the written word of God, he only spent two years as a youth, and began to feel he has arrived. Some others could spend 10, 20 or 40 years in the glorious experience before they start getting old, while some others spend just a few weeks, or a few months.

Whatever the state, God expects me to spend all my days in the freshness of youthfulness and never outgrow the guide of His hands. Job, after he seemed to be experiencing the grown up life, and the glorious youthful beauties were fading away, began to long and desire again that he may return back to the blessings he had left behind.

Once I have discovered myself into youthfulness, the days of my youth should be continuous and endless. If I started at 13, then at 30, I must be growing younger in God's hands and fresher in God's grace. At 45, I must be a firebrand in His hands, a Divine tool for His work, freshly plucked out of the fire. At 50, 60 and 70, I must climb higher not in my strength, but in the strength of The Lord who carries me in His bosom as His child from day to day, my youthfulness grows as my physical age grows, my days of youthfulness increase as my days on earth increase, the more time here on earth I spend, the fresher in Divine love I become. The days of my youth are endless until I see my Daddy face to face.

Lord Jesus, keep me daily in your arms of love. Amen


...the days of my youth...

How does the simple mention of the word 'GOD' sound in my ear?, what effect does it bring upon my heart?, is it charming, lovely and affectionate, OR is it old, fearful and domineering?

Those who came newly into the fold, who just discovered the beauty and glory of God, they delight themselves so much in Him, and could be spent wholly for Him. Since they know so little about God, there is a longing to know much more. They read their Bibles voraciously as if there are hidden truths they want to search out, the word of the Lord to them, is like a cherished love letter and they want to eat it all up. They could lock themselves up for hours and days just to discover some more about God, their love is so pure and rich, their quest for God is so consuming. Every word that escapes their lips, either speaks directly to God, or to men about God. Glorious youthfulness...


"As I was in the days of my youth... the secret of God was upon my tabernacle"

One of the manifestations that characterises youthful days, is that "... the secret of God was upon my tabernacle". God begins to reveal some secret things, deep spiritual truths in His word. The secrets of God are the things that God loves to keep secret, many Christians are completely alien to even the common things of God, how much less the divine secrets?, but In the days of my youthfulness, the things that God does not usually feed many people with, were my daily meal.

The believer in his youth is like a Mary Magdalene, who when she found Jesus would not exchange Him for anything, even the corpse of The Lord was a treasure to her far above any other rubies or dainties, she sought Him with all she had, Jesus became everything to her, no wonder He revealed Himself first to her after His resurrection. But when many men begin to count years in Church, they begin to lose affection, they begin to feel knowledgeable and sufficient, they no longer turn to The Lord for direction and guide, they start feeling big and strong, and depend on empty knowledge, they live by the revelation of yesterday in their pomp, and little by little, they miss out of their tenderness, and no sooner had they begun, they lose their youthfulness.

The believer in his youth dwells perpetually on the laps of the Lord, he is being carried in the arms of the Lord, and never in his own strength.

No matter how old I am growing physically, no matter how many years I have been in the race, the Lord still wants me to remain His youth, never to become so strong in myself as to go it all by myself. I am to become more spiritually matured and strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, but the stronger in the Lord I grow, the more youthful I should become, and the fresher in His grace I should be.

There is a kind of unsavoury maturity in the fold today that gives many the audacity to explore sin. The higher men go, the cooler they are becoming, the more years many spend on the pulpit, the more audacious they grow, some take up the title of “Assistant Holy Spirit”, while others even outrightly overthrow God, they have become 'matured', they are now immune to wrong life, what men in the pews do and are scolded for, have become permissible for them. They could get visibly angry, and call it 'authority of ministry' or 'holy anger', while they term the angry church member as a wretched sinner. Such maturity is a sign of 'old age', the man of God is beginning to grow old, he has left the youthful days, knowledge is beginning to confuse him, he will soon be discarded by God.

Are you beginning to outgrow the laps of The Lord?, have you become 'of age' now that The Lord can no longer bear you in His arms? Have you become 'matured' now and have overgrown sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and the word of God?, are you beginning to have grey hairs here and there, an offshoot of ageing because you are walking alone? The submissive spirit, that absolute dependence on God, and childlike asking of Him for every detail of life, regardless of your own mental achievements - is it beginning to look childish and old fashioned? Are you beginning to grow old?, do you still love God and trust Him...

I want God to be able to carry me without feeling overburdened and without feeling my weight. I don't want to be too heavy for God to bear in His arms.... There are many heavy carnalities we have added and filled Christianity with, thinking it is maturity, though it is maturity of a kind, but it is that kind of maturity that outgrows grace, and enthrones self and human knowledge.

Visible Parameters as a result of Old Age for those who have outgrown grace include:

Use of walking stick- The man who has lost his youthfulness will begin to depend on other alternatives and helps, his strength is gone.

Dimness of sight or a complete loss of it - Old people don't see well, only young people have sharp eyesights to see far.

Grey hairs - grey hairs will begin to show here and there. Those who have gray hairs cannot see it by themselves, they need help to see and locate it, but alas, men who are already growing old feel proud and would never admit the presence of abnormality or cry out for help. Even those who ought to help them regain their youthfulness will out of fear and respect for them, excuse the grey hairs in their characters, and say, "well, he's the man of God."


Strangers have devoured his strength, and he knoweth it not: yea, gray hairs are here and there upon him, yet he knoweth not. [Hosea 7:9]


Prayer

Lord Jesus please Keep me Young, I don't want to outgrow dwelling in your presence, I don't want any place to be of more interest to me than abiding in Your bosom, I want to remain Your baby forever, without any power of my own. Sweet Daddy, hold me close in thy love, keep me beneath the fountain, ravish me always with thy love, let me always depend on You. Lord, rid me and expunge from my inner man all kinds of maturity of self, take away from me the ability to grow up, ability to grow my muscles, strength and prowess, I'm afraid I may get to a point where I feel I have it all and I don't need Your help again.

Take out of my life all kinds of maturity that gives me boldness to explore the world, audacity to take selfish escapades and get pass the elastic limit, where there is no more danger alarm in my soul. Take from my life all kinds of maturity that gives me boldness to go out without having first come in to Receive from You. Take away the boldness to speak unto men without having first heard the very words from You, maturity of feeling that I have arrived, I can handle it while trusting in my depraved self which can only mar the works of grace... Keep me young Lord, I'm satisfied with me being an instrument in Your hands, and not You being an instrument in my hands. I need You Lord to use me, please delete from me the feeling that I need to use You for Your work, Be the Worker in me, make me Lord, only, Your vessel.